Change your story
A friend just told me that he did his first ever yoga class today. He had been avoiding yoga because of a story. As a young boy, he compared his athletic abilities to the other boys in gym class, and concluded that he was “not flexible”. He went through much of his adult life believing that his lack of flexibility would prohibit the practice of yoga. But today, he changed his story. His new story is that yoga is challenging and he’s going back for more!
We are very good at rationalizing and telling ourselves stories. They help us make sense of the world, navigate our choices, and live with ourselves‡. They form part of our cultural fabric, our sense of community, and belonging. Our stories are real to us. We believe them.
My maternal grandfather was a baker. He was a shrewd business man who not only provided well for his family but also helped others to succeed. He was the patriarch of the family and a well-respected member of the community. I never knew him. He died while my mother was pregnant with me. However, knowing that I share some genetic material with him, I made up a story that I can be successful in business too. Is that really true? I don’t know but I choose to believe it. And when I do, I feel like a successful business person.
I also have a “not good enough” story. Just like my friend who believed he would not be able to do yoga, I told myself that I was not athletic. This originated from primary school days when I would come last in every race, from track to swim. Some years ago, I worked with a personal trainer who helped me see that this belief was getting in the way of enjoying physical activity. Now I do vigorous exercise 5 days per week. My new story is that I am fit, strong, and healthy.
Don’t allow old stories or beliefs to limit you and keep you small. Change the story!
What story or limiting belief do you want to look at and shift?
- Set aside 15-20 minutes to reflect.
- What’s important about changing this story?
- What have I been believing about myself in this story?†
- What impact is that having in my life?
- Who would I be without it?
- What did I learn from my old story?
2. Write down what comes into your mind.
3. Then pretend you are directing the movie of your life. What do you want the new story to be? What parts of the old story do you want to keep? What do you want to cut out? What’s your favorite part of the new story?
4. Draw a picture of your new story.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
-Mahatma Gandhi
Sources:
‡ HT to Seth Godin
†Adapted from Byron Katie. The wo