Core Personality Fears: How To Recognize Them As Catalysts For Career Change And Tips To Work With Them
The goal of this post is to help you recognize the fear that drives your behavior. It may be driving you to consider a career change, or keeping you stuck in a career that’s no longer for you, or something else.
I invite you to skim through the 9 fears, and read in depth the ones that feel most true for you.
As you do so, can you imagine creating a judgment-free zone and approaching yourself with compassion? As you review the tips on how to work with them, which ones do you want to try out?
The Core Personality Fears:
- I am bad or defective. “There’s something wrong with me.”
- Being unloved and unwanted for who you are.
- Without your success and achievements, you are worthless.
- Having no unique identity or significance.
- Being incapable or incompetent.
- Having no support and guidance.
- Being stuck in a rut and missing out on exciting experiences.
- Losing control of your situation or being controlled by others.
- Being disconnected or separated from others.
1. Fear of being bad or defective. “There’s something wrong with me.”
Traits and values associated with this fear.
it’s of utmost importance for you to do what is right. You set high standards for yourself (and others) and you are motivated to advocate for change and equality. You embrace challenges, are conscientious, and willing to work late to make sure all “I’s” are dotted and “T’s” are crossed.
Emotional manifestations that might lead to considering a career change.
Feeling overwhelmed by everything that needs improvement in your clinical environment. You feel your dedication and efforts are under-appreciated.
Tips to work with the core fear.
Recognize the fear that something might be wrong with you.
Notice the heavy burden you place on yourself to make sure everything is fixed and close to perfection. Allow others to help you, even if their way of doing things is not yours.
Nobody is without “defects” or imperfections. Practice being with and accepting the parts of yourself you don’t like.
Notice how your inner critic brings you down. Recognize it’s not an all-knowing judge, it just sounds like one!
2. Fear of being unloved and unwanted for who you are.
Traits and values associated with this fear.
It’s of utmost importance to you to be loved by others and close to them. This may lead you to want to meet others’ needs, even if it means putting yourself last. You have good relationships with your team members and they tend to come to you with their personal problems.
Emotional manifestations that might lead to considering a career change.
You may be burnt out from trying to please and do for everyone – your patients, your colleagues, family, friends, neighbors – everyone except yourself. You may also feel resentful that your colleagues don’t recognize you have needs too!
Tips to work with the core fear
Recognize the fear of being unwanted for who you are.
Establish good boundaries. Sit tight when you see a need. Before you jump into the rescue, ask, “what’s mine to do here?”
Take time to be alone and get in touch with your needs. This is especially important to do alone so that you can focus on yourself.
Remember, no matter what you do, there will always be someone who will not be pleased, especially if you are leaving a busy clinical practice.
3. Fear that without your success and achievements, you are worthless.
Traits and values associated with this fear.
It’s of utmost importance for you to be seen as successful, worthwhile, and desirable. You’re competitive and strive for achievement. You are agile with a “can-do” attitude. You likely have many academic and other achievements under your belt.
Emotional manifestations that might lead to considering a career change.
You want your successes and contributions to be recognized and you might be feeling undervalued. Your emphasis on productivity and efficiency puts you at risk for burnout.
Tips to work with the core fear
Recognize the fear of not being worthy as a human being.
You will take your drive for success with you into your next career. It’s important to slow down. Even just slightly!
Schedule stillness. Meditation or a slow yoga practice is especially beneficial for you to practice slowing down.
Take moments to recognize your worth as a human being (as opposed to a human doing).
4. Fear of having no unique identity or significance.
Traits and values associated with this fear.
It’s of utmost importance for you to be authentic and true to yourself. You are intuitive, attuned to your emotions, and creative. You are drawn to helping neglected and underserved populations. You can express what others are feeling and bring a subtle sense of humor into the workplace.
Emotional manifestations that might lead to considering a career change.
A job with too many repetitive, mundane tasks, and lack of opportunities to do things in your own creative way is not rewarding for you. You may get feedback that you need to be more efficient in the clinic and you tend to get behind on charting.
Tips to work with the core fear.
Recognize the fear of not having a unique identity.
Use your deep emotions and intensity to energize you into taking action.
Create a schedule and home environment that is conducive to doing the activities needed to reach your goals.
Take a breath, get present in your body, and then find beauty in the everyday things around you.
5. Fear of being incapable or incompetent.
Traits and values associated with this fear.
It’s of utmost importance for you to have mastered something. You are likely an expert in your medical specialty and enjoy spending hours researching and thinking about your area of focus. You may also have deep expertise in an unusual niche (inside or outside of medicine).
Emotional manifestations that might lead to considering a career change.
You feel you don’t have the time and autonomy to develop your expertise and/or intellectual property. You tend to withdraw from the team if you’re expected to problem solve in a collaborative way on all projects and you can’t work independently.
Tips to work with the core fear.
Recognize the fear of incompetence.
Balance your active mental world with physical activity. When the body is awake, the mind becomes even sharper.
Reach out to someone for support. This might feel risky to you but share how you’re feeling with someone you can trust.
Engage your natural curiosity as you consider other job options.
6. Fear of having no support and guidance.
Traits and values associated with this fear.
It’s of utmost importance for you to do what’s expected of you. You tend to doubt your own abilities, even though your colleagues say you’re highly capable. You are likely working in a team where your thoughtfulness, reliability, and attention to detail are highly valued.
Emotional manifestations that might lead to considering a career change.
You may feel anxiety about the stability of your work situation and the fear of being sued is beginning to wear you down. You may also be burnt out from spending hours on clinic preparation and charting to cover all your bases.
Tips to work with the core fear.
Recognize the fear of trusting your own inner guidance.
Spend time with yourself and get to know the inner guidance and intelligence of your heart and body.
Practice trusting your inner guidance.
Experiment with moving into action before you’ve covered all your bases.
7. Fear of being stuck in a rut and missing out on exciting experiences.
Traits and values associated with this fear.
It’s of utmost importance for you to get what you need. You really want to be happy and find fulfillment. You’re the colleague who sees opportunities where others see problems. You are an innovative thinker and likely wear many hats in your clinical job. You often volunteer to get projects started.
Emotional manifestations that might lead to considering a career change.
The work starts to feel tedious, boring, and the work culture seems resistant to change. You are tempted by “the grass is greener.”
Tips to work with the core fear.
Recognize the fear of missing out.
Take the time to explore and notice what brings you fulfillment as opposed to what brings satisfaction.
A meditation practice can be particularly helpful to ground you and relax the intensity of your thoughts.
When you start a new interest or project, commit to seeing it through even when it no longer feels like fun.
8. Fear of losing control of your situation or being controlled by others.
Traits and values associated with this fear.
It’s of utmost importance to protect yourself, your loved ones, and determine your own course in life. You often feel like you must push or struggle to make things happen. You may have chosen an area of medicine that allows you to push your limits.
Emotional manifestations that might lead to considering a career change.
You feel a lack of control and autonomy in your workplace. You will likely gravitate towards a role where you can be in a senior leadership position or your own boss.
Tips to work with the core fear.
Recognize the fear of being controlled by others.
Ask yourself, “What would happen if I were a little less intense and driven?”
Take some quiet time to reduce stress and spend time in nature.
Use your inner resourcefulness and decisiveness to your advantage. While many have difficulty choosing between options, you will have no trouble!
9. Fear of being disconnected or separated from others.
Traits and values associated with this fear.
It’s of utmost importance to you that those around you are okay. You are accommodating of others’ wants and often neglect your own. You want to keep a peaceful and calm environment and avoid conflict. You see the value in all opinions and don’t play favorites.
Emotional manifestations that might lead to considering a career change.
You are exhausted and feeling overwhelmed by your efforts to keep everyone happy, both at work and at home. You might delay making a career change to avoid conflict with colleagues.
Tips to work with the core fear.
Recognize the fear of being disconnected from others.
Practice checking in with yourself. Ask, what do I really want? Then ask for it. This will not disconnect you from those who love you.
Give yourself time and space to figure out what you really want to do.
Those around you will benefit from a more fulfilled YOU.
Last words.
The core fears were intelligent responses that helped our younger selves survive. If you recognize yourself in these descriptions, give yourself grace. The goal is not to get rid of the fear, but to recognize how it might be keeping you from reaching your true potential and work with it, not against it.
Reference: The Wisdom of the Enneagram, Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
Professor of philosophy and cognitive science L.A. Paul offers a new lens for thinking about important life choices:
“As we live our lives, we find ourselves confronted with a brute fact about how little we can know about our futures—just when it is most important to us that we do know. For many big life choices, we only learn what we need to know after we’ve done it, and we change ourselves in the process of doing it. I’ll argue that, in the end, the best response to this situation is to choose based on whether we want to discover who we’ll become.”
Source: James Clear newsletter 7/13/23
Why you should define your fears instead of your goals:
Tim Ferriss TED talk,13:21 mins