Is Your Inner Critic Safely Buckled Up In The Backseat Or Acting Out In The Driver Seat?
Is your inner critic judging, criticizing, admonishing, and saying you should be grateful for the job you have?
And you’re believing it?
Then your inner critic might be in the driver seat!
But wait!
Before the inner critic starts judging you for allowing it in the driver seat, pause and take a breath! You can nudge it into the back seat!
Here’s how to work with the inner critic so that you can move forward with your career change.
The role of the inner critic (IC)
The inner critic (IC) speaks up when we want to do something new, go outside of our comfort zone, or work on an important task.
It’s an intelligent adaptation from early childhood. At one point in your life, the IC protected and helped you survive. Now that you’re older, it’s still trying to protect you but it’s no longer serving you. It doesn’t realize you’re not 2 years old and don’t need this protection anymore.
The IC is closely connected to perfectionism. It’s particularly harsh in people with a deep sense of personal responsibility and strong convictions (so many physicians I know, me included!).
3 Steps to work with the IC:
STEP 1. RECOGNIZE THE VOICE OF YOUR IC.
- Does it sound like a wise, discerning voice? The voice of a loved one giving you advice from the past, “don’t job hop,” “a rolling stone gathers no moss,” “don’t take risks.”
- Is it harsh and you’re beating yourself up over the smallest mistake?
- Is it constantly judging you and others?
- It’s often shrouded in a list of SHOULD and SHOULD NOTS.
- It may sound sensible, like one who knows what’s going on. It can be very convincing!
STEP 2. DISTINGUISH THE IC FROM INNER WISDOM.
When you hear the voice, notice your body posture and energy.
The physical hallmark of the IC is physical tension, usually in your shoulders, neck, and jaw. Open and close your jaw to notice the tension there. Are you clenching your teeth? It tends to shut down your life force energy. Your body might feel tense and drained.
Inner wisdom usually arises out of a state of openness and relaxation. The voice has no urgency and can be energizing.
STEP 3. MANAGE THE IC IN THE MOMENT
When you recognize the voice and body posture of the IC, you can begin to work with it. Try this:
- Pause.
- Take 3 deep breaths.
- Sit or stand up straight.
- Feel your feet, hips, spine.
- Thank the IC and let it know, “I’m an adult. I’ve got this!”
- Then take each judgment and/or criticism and get curious about it. When you ask a question, judgment will tend to soften.
Pro-tip.
Do not argue with the IC! You won’t win. Instead, thank it for trying to protect you. Let it know you’re an adult now. Ask it to take a back seat. You’re reclaiming the driver seat and you know how to drive.
Final Words.
The first step in working with the IC is appreciating it’s an intelligent (although outdated) protective response. Then recognize its voice and the impact on your body and energy. Then pause, and ask questions.
Invite the IC to take a back seat. You’re an adult in the driver seat and you’re finding your way.
Questions for reflection.
What does the voice of your IC sound like?
Does it seem to come from inside or outside of you?
Does it sound like someone you know?
Do you have a clear picture of what the IC looks like?
What happens to your energy when the IC is active?
How can you reclaim your energy?