How you talk to yourself at the crossroads can make the difference between moving forward and staying stuck.

Take a moment to notice the words you’re using.

Are you using words that empower you or are they taking you down into a spiral of despair?

Here are some examples of what I hear physicians say and suggestions for a more empowering rephrase.

Before you read on……

This is a judgment-free zone! We ALL say these things. If you can bring awareness and kindness to your words, then you have the power to change them.

The power of YET

I don’t know what I want to do:

I don’t know what I want to do YET.

I don’t know how to find the role I’m looking for:

I don’t know how to find the role I’m looking for YET.

I’m not having any success in my job applications:

I’m not having any success in my job applications YET.

What are you saying that would be equally true if you added YET to the end of it?

How does that sentence land differently when you do?

The deflation of STARTING OVER

I must start all over again and build my career from scratch:

I will use my current skills to build a new career the way I want it.

The tyranny of SHOULD

I should have quit medicine a long time ago.

I should have negotiated for a higher salary.

I should never have signed up for this:

I did the best I could with the knowledge and awareness I had at the time I made the decision.

“Should” is not always disempowering. It depends on the context:

“I should update my resume.” is probably in your best interest!

“I get to update my resume!” might be a more motivating rephrase.

The judgment of MISTAKE

It was a mistake to assume things would get better when I became an attending:

I am learning and growing, and I know more now than I did when I started.

The prison of other people’s OPINIONS

What are my parents/colleagues/mentors going to think of me if I leave medicine? :

How will I feel about myself 5 years from now if I don’t make the change I know I need to make now?

The paralysis of FEAR

I’m afraid to make this change:

I’m feeling afraid AND I will do it scared.

It can be helpful when you talk about your emotions, to remove the “I am [emotion]”, and replace it with, “I feel [emotion]”.

You are not the emotion; you’re feeling the emotion.

The plague of WHAT IF?

What if it doesn’t work out? :

What if it DOES work out?

What if I miss clinical medicine? :

What if I don’t miss clinical medicine?
What if I love my new gig so much, I’m going to ask why I didn’t do this years ago?

The hell of the COMFORT ZONE

I’m uncomfortable about making a change:

My comfort zone is where my dreams go to die.

The showstopper of TOO OLD

I’m too old to change careers:

The best time to change careers was x years ago, the next best time for a change is now.

I’m too old as judged by whom or what?

(I left clinical medicine and started my own business at the age of 54y and I’ve helped clients in their 60’s find new gigs.)

How about you?

Do any of the above resonate with you?

What other empowering rephrases would you add to the above?