Your loved ones play an important role in what’s next for your career. You want them to be happy too! 

Balancing your needs with those of your loved ones can be challenging. You only need to have a conversation with a loved one about leaving your job to see the anxiety flash across their face. 

They want you to be happy AND they want to be secure. Change is scary. What if you become someone they don’t recognize, or you can’t provide for the family anymore?

Here are two suggestions to help you navigate this delicate balance.

 1. HONOR YOUR DESIRE FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT AND YOUR LOVED ONE’S NEED FOR THINGS TO STAY STABLE. 

 Involve your loved one* right from the beginning. 

One way to do this is for both of you to brainstorm what you want in your career and life. This exercise can be especially helpful if you are a dual-career couple.

 List 5-10 things you want to be, do, or have. Don’t censor. Be as creative as possible. 

 Here’s what your list might look like: 

• I want to use my gift of empathy to help others. 
• I want to work 4 days/week.
• I want to make a minimum $350K per year. 
• I want to be fulfilled and valued in my next job. 
• I want a house big enough for me to have my own creative space.
• I want no nights/weekends/calls.
• I don’t want to work from home. 
• I don’t want to move out of my geographic area. 

 Now ask your partner to make a list of 5-10 things they really want to be, do, or have. Encourage them to think outside the box. 

 Now share your lists. Flirt with multiple possibilities of who you want to become together! 

 2. FIND A GROUP OF PHYSICIANS WHO ARE MAKING OR WHO HAVE MADE CAREER CHANGES.

 These physicians understand the identity crisis, fear, doubt, and worry that come up as you go through your career transition. Their support helps to normalize the challenges and focus on what’s possible.

Their support is different from that of your loved ones who don’t want you to make mistakes and may discourage changes that appear “risky.” While you don’t want to take unnecessary risks, there’s an element of risk with any change. 

When I transitioned from academic endocrinology to coaching, I made a new circle of friends and physicians who were business owners. Their support helped me take the risks I needed to start my business. Now I have a group of former and new colleagues in my life, and I cherish them all!

Last words.

We don’t make changes in a vacuum. A career change is no exception.

Involve your loved ones from the beginning and expand your support network to physicians who are doing what you want to do. Then you have a beautiful community of people who will help you get where you want to go!

* Adapted from Reinventing-your-career-when-its-not-just-about-you.