The essence of who we are
One of the biggest challenges to living our best life, is loving and accepting ourselves as we are. We are constantly optimizing for happiness, performance, income, personal growth, and success. In the midst of this chase, this self-improvement project, we tend to forget who we are at the core. The essence of our being that is deserving of love and does not need to change.
Who are you at your essence? How do you connect with your essence? I have a couple of ways that work for me.
One way is to consider asking the question, who am I? ‡ To do this, sit in a comfortable and upright position. Close your eyes. Take three deep breaths. Drop the questions below into your whole being. Let them rest in your body. Follow each question with a few moments of silence.
Who am I?
Am I my name, age, and where I was born?
Am I the roles I play in my life?
Am I my body?
Am I my mind?
Am I my spirit?
Maybe you are none of the above and all of the above? Can you catch a glimpse of the deep, inner essence of who you are?
Another way to connect with the beautiful essence that needs no changing, no tweaking, no tucking, no modifications, is to reconnect with your younger self.
If you would like to try this, find a picture of yourself as a toddler.
Look into the eyes of that child. What do you see? Look past the physical form. See the spirit of that child. Appreciate their innocence, curiosity, and trusting nature. Notice how worthy they are of love. Close your eyes and feel the essence of that child inside yourself. Embrace this beautiful being. Re-assure them that regardless of what happens, your love for this being will stay steady†.
It becomes less about changing ourselves and more about shedding the layers of beliefs, assumptions, and habits that cover over who we really are.
When you are feeling imperfect, guilty, unlovable, or discouraged, remember your essence. There’s nowhere to go. You were created in perfection and that is who you are. That perfect, trusting, generous, kind-hearted human being.
When we understand who we are at our essence, self-compassion and acceptance can arise. We see ourselves and others as we really are: perfect and whole.
References
† Adapted from Shirzad Chamine, positive intelligence
‡ Adapted from Henry Shukman, Who am I, on Waking Up